TPIR Episode - Act I, Scene 1 (Intro)

[The following is the first part of a fictitious episode of "The Price is Right." As you can tell, I'm not a screenwriter, so bear with me.]

ACT I

SCENE 1 - "Come On Down!"

[Fade in. A shiny gold border frames the television screen. White and yellow light bulbs line the border and blink randomly. The somewhat recognizable intro theme music begins, the camera pans slowly across the screaming audience, and the announcer, Rod Roddy, begins his voiceover.]

RODDY: "He-e-e-e-ere it comes! Television's most exciting hour of fantastic prizes! The fabulous sixty-minute Price is Right!"

[Cut to a wide shot of the first contestant and start zooming in slowly.]

RODDY: "Bertha McFeely, come on down!"

[Camera zooms in on a moderately overweight, middle-aged Caucasian woman wearing an oversized green sweatshirt that reads, "Barker's Beauties - Topeka Branch." She stands up, screams incoherently, waves her large arms in the air and bear hugs her husband on her right and then a surprised complete stranger on the left. She squeezes her portly frame between her husband and the row of seats in front of her, awkwardly makes her way down her row past seven other wildly cheering and back-patting audience members, and rumbles down the aisle to the first spot in Contestants' Row. Winded, Bertha spends her two seconds of solo airtime with her hands on her knees, panting heavily.]

RODDY: "Ashish Patel, come on down!"

[Camera pans up and to the right, to the farthest rear corner of the audience, where thirty hyperactive college students rise as one and go completely bonkers. Each is wearing a T-shirt or sweatshirt with the same logo consisting of three Greek letters. One young man, a tall, lanky Indian fellow, makes his way to the closest aisle and races down to take his place next to Bertha. They hug while simultaneously jumping up and down, a rare skill that the producers screened for before the show began.]

RODDY: "Michael Washington, come on down!"

[In the middle of the audience on the left side, eight uniformed members of the United States Navy stand up and start cheering. A tall, muscular, clean-shaven black man leaves his shipmates and joins the others as the third contestant in Contestants' Row. Michael high-fives Ashish and grins broadly at the camera.]

RODDY: "And Estelle Pinkerton, come on down!"

[Camera zooms in on the second row, where an elderly Caucasian couple sits quietly. The frail woman looks to her left at her husband, and then to her right, where the jolly Hispanic woman sitting next to her sees Estelle's nametag and realizes that she has been called and needs to get on stage. The Hispanic woman jumps up and screams joyously, tugging at Estelle to get up. Realizing that her name has been called, Estelle smiles, clutches her woolen shawl a little tighter over her shoulders, and moves slowly toward the aisle. Despite the fact that she's only twenty feet from Contestants' Row, it's a good fifteen to twenty seconds before Rod can finish his introduction.]

RODDY: "You are the first four contestants on the Price Is Right!" [Zoom out and show the TPIR logo. The INSTANTLY recognizable theme music starts. You know, "dat dat da-daaah, dat dat da-daaah," etc.] "And now, here's the host of the Price Is Right... BOB BARKER!"